31/8/2026

1.That day, I was harassed by a stranger named goodrebar778, who kept spamming me with messages telling me to “kill yourself.” It made me feel extremely uncomfortable and hurt. I don’t know who this person is or why they did it, but receiving those kinds of messages repeatedly made me feel unsafe. It wasn’t a joke to me, and I don’t think anyone should have to deal with that kind of harassment from a stranger.

13/9/2026

1.someone I cared about started ignoring me. I still don’t really understand what changed. Maybe I did something wrong, or maybe I simply became less important to them.

It hurts when someone who used to make you feel noticed suddenly starts acting like you’re not there. I wanted to ask why, but I was too scared of making things worse.

Maybe I should just stay quiet and let them have their distance. I just wish they knew how much their silence hurts me.
2. I started noticing the distance between me and someone I really cared about.

There was a conflict between two people I know, but I never wanted to be involved in it. I still wanted to talk to both of them, because I don't think someone's personal problems should decide who I'm allowed to be friends with.

But somehow, things started changing. They became more distant from me, and I could feel that something was different. Maybe it was because I was still talking to someone they didn't get along with.

What hurts the most is that I never wanted to choose a side. I just wanted to have my own friends, meet new people, and be able to talk to whoever I felt comfortable with.

I understand that everyone has their own boundaries, but I wish I didn't have to feel like I was losing someone just because I refused to abandon someone else.

And maybe the saddest part is that I still think about them a lot.

I still care. I just don't know if they care about me the same way anymore.

3.Sometimes, I’m scared of being left behind.

Maybe it’s because I remember how things felt in 2025. I remember losing people, watching relationships change, and feeling like I was slowly becoming someone everyone could leave behind.

I don’t want to go through that again.

I’m tired of drama. I’m tired of misunderstandings, arguments, choosing sides, and constantly wondering if someone is going to disappear from my life next.

I don’t want anything complicated anymore. I just want a quiet life. I want to wake up, do the things I love, talk to the people I care about, make art, listen to music, and feel like I can finally breathe without worrying about what will happen next.

I don’t want to be involved in anyone’s drama anymore.

I just want peace.

And maybe, for once, I want to stop being afraid that everyone I care about will eventually leave.

15/9/2026

1.There’s someone I still think about more than I probably should.

Even when I’m busy, somehow my mind always finds its way back to them. Sometimes it’s because of a song, a random thought, or something that reminds me of the way we used to talk.

I wonder if they ever think about me too.

Maybe I’m just holding onto something that has already changed. Maybe they’ve moved on while I’m still standing here, trying to understand when everything became so different.

I wish I could stop thinking about it.

But honestly, I don’t think I’m ready to let go yet.

2.There are so many things I wish I could say to someone.

I wish I could tell them that I cared more than I ever showed. That their presence meant a lot to me, even when I acted like it didn't.

I wish I could explain that when I became quiet, it wasn't because I stopped caring. Sometimes I was just scared of saying the wrong thing and making everything worse.

There are things I've wanted to say for a long time, but I kept them inside because I was afraid of what might happen if I finally said them out loud.

Maybe one day I'll have the courage to say everything.

But for now, these words will stay here, between me and this page..

17/9/2026

1.I suddenly started feeling really unwell.

I felt dizzy, feverish, and my face became unusually pale. I was exhausted and didn't really know what was happening to me. Everything felt strangely distant, and I just wanted to lie down and rest.

It scared me a little because I already had so many things on my mind, and now my body seemed to be giving up too.

I hope tomorrow I'll feel better. For now, I just want to rest and have a quiet day.

21/9/2026

1.I realized that I have to say goodbye to David.

I don't think I'm ready for it.

There are some goodbyes that feel so strange because you know the person isn't necessarily disappearing forever, but things will never feel exactly the same again. I keep thinking about all the conversations, memories, and little moments we've had.

I wish I could have more time.

I don't know what the future will look like, or whether we'll still talk the same way someday. But I'm grateful that I got to know him in the first place.

Goodbye, David.

I hope life treats you kindly. And even if we become distant, I'll still remember you.
now..i'm lonely.

24/9/2026

1.Today, things at home became too much for me again.

I felt so overwhelmed that I started taking my anger and pain out on myself. I stopped eating for a while, and I hurt myself because I didn’t know how else to deal with everything I was feeling.

I know it isn’t a healthy way to cope, but sometimes the pain inside feels impossible to explain. I just wanted everything to stop for a moment. I wanted the noise, the arguments, and all the problems at home to disappear.

I hate feeling like this.I don’t want to bite myself. I just want things to be okay.I wish I could have a place where I feel safe, where I don’t have to carry everything alone, and where I can finally breathe.

2.Lately, I’ve started talking to people less and less.

I spend more time alone in my room, sometimes staying there for hours without wanting to talk to anyone. I ignore messages, keep my thoughts to myself, and pretend that everything is fine whenever someone asks.

It feels easier to hide than to explain what is happening inside my head.But the longer I stay alone, the quieter everything becomes—and somehow, that silence can hurt even more.

I miss being able to talk freely without worrying about being misunderstood or abandoned. I miss feeling safe around people.

Maybe I’m not actually looking for loneliness.

Maybe I’m just tired of getting hurt...

3.Lately, living with autism and social anxiety has been feeling harder than it used to.

Talking to people takes so much energy. Sometimes I spend a long time thinking about what to say, worrying that I’ll sound weird or say something wrong. Even replying to a simple message can make me nervous.

I’ve started avoiding conversations more often and staying in my room because being alone feels safer. I want to talk to people, but at the same time, I’m scared of being judged, misunderstood, or eventually abandoned.

Sometimes I wish I could communicate like everyone else without overthinking every little thing.

I know there’s nothing wrong with me for struggling with this. I’m just tired of fighting with my own thoughts every time I try to connect with someone.

I hope someday talking to people won’t feel this frightening anymore..