Declined the internal move today. Formally, via email, around 10 a.m. The role was a senior program director position in the infrastructure org — one level up, roughly $18k more base, and a team of four. I've been sitting on the decision for three weeks.

The honest read: I don't want to manage people right now. I've done it before and I know what it costs. Four direct reports means four one-on-ones, four sets of performance notes at year-end, four people whose bad weeks become part of my week. That's not a complaint, it's just arithmetic. My current role is individual contributor-adjacent. I can go home at a reasonable hour most days. That gap matters more to me at 41 than it did at 35.

The trade-off I'm sitting with: I'm giving up the title bump and probably slowing any future salary ceiling. The hypothesis is that I can close the pay gap through merit increases over two to three years without taking on the management overhead. That might be wrong. If I'm still at the same pay band by end of 2027 and there's no clear path, I'll have to revisit whether staying put was discipline or just avoidance.

One concrete thing I did do: I asked my manager to put me on the platform migration project that's starting in Q3. Higher visibility, cross-functional, no direct reports. That's the test — whether I can get the career currency I want through project complexity rather than headcount. I'd put maybe 60% odds on it being enough for the next two years.

The cash flow is fine either way. RRSP and TFSA contributions aren't changing. Mortgage renewal is in November; rates are still uncomfortable but manageable. Nothing in the household budget was contingent on that $18k.

Next step: confirm the platform migration assignment in writing by end of May. Quarterly review of this decision is September 30.

#career #decisionlog #money #everyday