#identity

The word for

homesick

in Japanese is

Someone asks me where I'm from

and I say the Piccadilly Line

between Earl's Court and Hammersmith,

The train doors close before I finish

the sentence I was forming in my head—

English or Japanese, I can't remember which.

The train doors close and I am neither

here nor there, suspended between

Shibuya and Shinjuku, watching

The train announcements switch languages at Shinjuku—

tsugi wa

, next station,

The train announcement says

mind the gap

and I think of my mother's mouth

The convenience store at 3 AM glows

like a ship in fog. I buy onigiri,

the clerk's

In the convenience store at 3am

the fluorescent hum sounds like

muzukashii

The train stops between stations.

No announcement. Just the sudden

absence of motion, the fluorescent hum

The train announcement says

tsugi wa Shibuya

and I know which body to become—

The subway doors close and I am translating

the word for loneliness again—

sabishii

The train window reflects my face back at me,

double-exposed over Shibuya crossing,

and I can't tell which version is more real—