November 2, 2026

Do you even have a firm position about this? You use your given name when you left, now changed it back to your nickname when you feel depressed. One day you believed you made the most wise decision to separate. Days later you told me it's just the distance between us. I don't even understand. You said you were not happy together and you like getting back to your old life as if I was the one who prevented you from doing it. You kept it all the way until we broke up and dumped all at once. I didn't even have a clue before. I wasn't the one who initiated the experiment and I was the one who brought the differences to the table to discuss openly. It was mid July. I kept on bc you told me you wanted partner as priority too. Why it took you more than another month to change your answer? Why you failed to say bluntly what you want for your partner or your life then? Why did you even stay when you knew exactly what I want and need is not what you do? I kept on bc you came back and told me there's something wrong with how you couldn't handle pressure and you said you gonna get professional help and beg me not to give up on you. I never knew if you ever go checking like you promised. Another line with no follow-up. And I believed you and took you back. I wasn't even the one who asked you to change yourself so you could stay around me. I suggested oppositely remember? Isn't that when I persuaded you to stop early, to be yourself happily in your world. But you thought it was me pushing you away. You left a mess when you leaving and I was stuck with all the questions and dishonesty in my head trying to figure out what the hell was going on all on my own these two months. Now you tell me it hit you hard and you're not in a good mental state. Do you have slightest idea what have I been going through all this time? You used the exact reason I noticed early on but you refused to face it squarely then to end things at last. And I was kept in the dark for over a month, still planning a future with you. Sure, you are not blaming me. But what are your place to blame me anyway? I just find your reply ridiculous. You have been back to your old life for two months now and I didn't write to you until I thought I could only get answers from you and bc it has been a while now. I assumed you're supposed to be in your happy normal life again with your friends and family so it might be a good time to explain and move on. Will you just enlighten me which part did you find hard to get over with? If it was me writing to you makes it all impossible, just explain your lie to me and then we could block each other and both be over with it and happy again. Cuz I'm done with the shit you left behind. Don't sugarcoat things. Be that honest version of yourself for once.