2026/6/10 夏梦诗
So I wrote something in Chinese just for myself to remember and something in English to you when I thought you chose to let go. But we had serious discussions later, so that was another story. Not sure if this is something you’d like to read as it’s sentimental and personal. You said you want to know more about me and you accept me with my emotions. Well, this is the very part of me you will probably see a lot if you choose to stay instead. But really might be something you wouldn’t into. I was gonna send it to you before my flight home. But our story keeps changing…Maybe my selfish wishful thinking was, while you’re reading it, my staying will linger a tiny bit longer with the letter on this magical land.
When my host at Bloom dropped me on the dock, out of my surprise they didn’t take me to the 5 star hotel next by as I knew it’s a pickup point. She drove me all the way back…to where is really close to Romlan…so that was my 3rd drive. Idk for what reasons, bikes or driving style, it’s very different from with you. It’s…safe. Not saying you’re not. It’s just no tense, no adrenaline. I felt like a post to be delivered on the backseat. They drive very slow and I can feel their body up straight, just like with those local girls. I think I’m gonna miss holding your belly. Before that I went for a breaky at the restaurant I had 4 day meals in a row like always, and I cried so hard I didn’t even care they see. They were already familiar with me and knew I’m leaving that morning. They said come back again.
Later when I was on the boat, I was sitting behind looking back at Tuk Tuk. And I can still remember the day I saw you off, Michal waved and not for long lying down on the bench. You just stand there and kept waving till I can’t see you. Now I looked back at the place we once were, emptied, it felt so different. Closer to Parapat but opposite side, I think it’s the south part of the island, there’re green hills and plateaus and sunlight chasing the grass through clouds. It reminds me of Holbung hill. And every time I look at the pictures you took for me, it takes me back to the moment when you called my name and I looked back at you…
On the sharing taxi to KNO, I was sitting at very back, and a young couple in front of me. I can easily tell they’re in their 20s and in a honeymoon phase. When they were awake they constantly chatted and laughed probably in Spanish, they were in this pink bubble world that nobody can enter into. And other time the girl slept on the laps of her bf. In general I’d say I have no hostility to the couples. But yesterday, it felt so jarring to me somehow. Maybe bc I can easily picture myself traveling with you. I mean I think we won’t be in a pink bubble. But those talks about forests and camping etc, it started to make me greedy. I told myself to stop fantasizing.
There was a crazy idea came to me when I told you my flight to KUL was delayed. Somehow I wasn’t that unhappy to hear the news. Usually I like it a lot to stick to the plan and often find incidents uncomfortable. This time I kinda wish my flight just got cancelled so that I can fly to you guys. Only a funny idea though as I still have my cat to go back to. I guess I’m still in that dream.
When I did this traveling research at home, some people online said this place gives you the feeling of Paradise, isolated and hard to get to. For me, Samosir is only a dreamland when with you…For what it’s worth Peťák, you have been a good company. My Kindle became useless since I met you.