I didn't get to slip into that dream again. It's impossible esp. after I spent two hours here writing down everything going through on my mind in the darkness.

You don’t understand how stupid I am in l love. I almost bought you another tickets with similar dates without letting you know. I asked you if someday you wanna try again, would you let me know on our goodbye meeting. That wasn’t letting go. The top I can do is letting you go now without begging you to stay. But still that question was giving myself hope. I want hope for us, for sure. You said you will, but you think it’s unlikely. That answer can’t kill my hope unfortunately. Part of me wanted the answer you gave me. Part of me wanted to tell you if you know it's impossible, just tell me it's impossible. And you don't need to worry any harsh answer can hurt me. How come you didn't tell me it's impossible? I thought you always believe in not giving me false hope. Even if you said Tina I would never want to see you again in my life, I would still stay here for a long time. When you replied with crying face and you said you hated whatever between us too, my heart skipped a beat. Thought you might still have a tiny bit of love for me. That reply will hold me back forever. That's how stupid I am in love.

Meet me sometime. I don’t even want to be called your gf or need to see you family or friends. Meet me somewhere during a trip, now I’d rather we have a fling, although it would never just be a fling to me. Or just sometime I can see your face again from away like a stranger you'd pass by during the trip, and you don't even need to know I am around. Meet me in a restaurant like we did for that late noon lunch, where we happened to have the same meal. I'd just look at you from the next table like we were. Meet me during a hike, even though I won't be able to reach the summit like you do. Meet me on a boat we both going to the same place, where I sit at the back of the corner when you talking to your friends. Meet me during an overnight flight. I'd just be a girl in next next seat. You'd be close to the window as you like it, but need to switch for the restroom or you need to often pass by me. Meet me outside of the hostel we book the same, even you don't have any memory who this girl is. I want to erase all the memories you have for us. And maybe this time I'll choose to stay far far away. If I never get close to you, is it okay for me to keep us somewhere we'd never lose each other. It'd be like the two pictures by the dam you sent to me. One was with you in, another one was an empty shot. Give us another shot like how you answered me.

Meet me.

Meet me again sometime somewhere, with or without last life memory.