I wish I knew you better as a person. I don’t know if you didn’t say completely no or impossible to me bc you’re too soft and kind to hurt me directly, or is it still a tiny bit of space you reserved for us in case some day miracle happens. I wish you would let me know some way...
So you've left again...leave another question mark in my mind...It is impossible to move on from...
If I'm the root of your stress, why you didn't block me from email before. It'd be far more easier for you to move on if you never heard from me again, isn't it...
You're not crazy...even if you were, I'd still want you...I know you never meant to hurt me. But this is all too hard...
Those bikes around my home never left since. Now I heard them almost everyday. Occasionally I gathered my strength to go for a walk, on the way back still saw that shop and that green bike there.
I was overjoyed hearing from you in email again. But I know that's not just what I want from you and for us. I can't lie to you...I can't lie to myself. If I chose to keep it touch with you like that, I know you might do. But honey, it's not healthy when we're expecting different things.
In your breakup msg, you said you might be tempted to write to me sometimes. That's another thing I don't understand since you've lost your feelings.
I choose not to open my camera for the one last time. I choose not to say 'I miss you' in your language. There were so many things I could have done to try to save us. But I know they're all useless but would only bring troubles to you. So I kept all the unspoken words to myself.
I wonder do you have any words that you wanted to say but can't that day as well. I wonder where you sitting that day vaping while we were talking.
Chybíš mi. You are an absence to me.