Your blue eyes.
Like the color of gloomy sky, drizzling dusk, or frozen lake.
You were so worried that I won’t remember the color of your eyes, that you literally needed to type it all in capitals. I bursted out laughing when I saw that. Have I ever told you how cute you are? I didn’t tell you enough. I like to stare at your nose and jawline. Your face looks pretty even you hold the camera mostly from below. The day I told you that’s death angle for most people, you laughed out loud. I never told you how good looking you’re to me. Hot, sharp, cute, ofc all are. But really good looking. How I look at your pictures, and you looked back at me in those pictures now, is the only way we have eyes contact from now on. Luckily I have tons of them. I guess those are the gifts you left me. And you smile almost all the time in front of the camera, that's my favorite. You said I’m crazy every time I sent you some screenshots of yours. But I truly loved them. And your 'girly' hands and arms. Do you even know how obsessed I am with them in your selfies.
I figured you must have taken our bracelet down. It has been loosened for so long anyway. Now there’s no us anymore, you have no reason to wear. But I would guess you are more like the type who would keep it on still even though our time has passed. You would cherish the memory. You were so attentive when you noticed I didn't have it on my wrist anymore the night I had a meet up dinner with my student. I told you it's loosened where it tied. I tried to tie it myself but I cook and clean a lot so I really worried I will lost it somewhere as like I lost my ring. I used to took it down whenever I shower or wash. Maybe I made it worse. So I put it away in my drawer somewhere safe. You seemed not to mind much after hearing this.
I recall the day you watched meteor. You told me that you made a wish about me when you caught one. I asked you what did you wish. You said can’t tell me otherwise it won’t come true. I was touched by how you didn’t make a wish about us. I didn’t tell you I did exactly the same thing before so I think I understand why you did it, instead of wishing us. You asked me once when you felt desperate about us, that have you ruined my happy single life. I couldn't tell you then, my greatest happiness is to be with you. I was hoping I could still let you know someday. But it's all impossible now. Or not important anymore.
You once asked me, are my eyes just pure black? I said almost, at least I know darker than most people here. You said you'd take a closer look next time you see me. Now it becomes a mystery for good.
The rain suddenly stopped completely recently, when I was hoping I could go out to catch the rain. It's all unrealistic sunny blue sky every single day. I kinda hate it and don't want to head out. I need my rain, to smell the dirt, to be alive, to feel the pain. I'll be outside more when it comes back, and stay in the rain thinking of you. My blue eyes.